The football rules of the Israeli/Palestinian conflict

As Homer Simpson says, it's funny because it's true:

The Football Rules of the Israeli/Palestinian conflict:

RULE 1: Israel has the right to play on both sides of the field, but the Palestinians can only play in their own half.

RULE 2: During the match, Israel has the right to build a wall anywhere across the field to enforce the above rule.

RULE 3: Should the referee ever whistle a foul against Israel he shall promptly be denounced as an anti-Semite.

RULE 4: The Palestinians are encouraged to shoot into their own goal. Players who refuse will be nominated as terrorists and will not be allowed to play.

RULE 5: For security reasons, Palestinians do not have the right to pass the ball to each other.

RULE 6: Israel can occupy any empty space on the field by bringing in a new player.

RULE 7: All Israeli goals are valid. Even those scored during the half-time break.

RULE 8: The Palestinians will only receive their sponsorship money if they agree to let Israel win.

RULE 9: The Palestinians can only play in flip-flops.

RULE 10: There will be no goal post on the Israeli side.
Via 7adaara. Thanks, SP.
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Issandr El Amrani

Issandr El Amrani is a Cairo-based writer and consultant. His reporting and commentary on the Middle East and North Africa has appeared in The Economist, London Review of Books, Financial Times, The National, The Guardian, Time and other publications. He also publishes one of the longest-running blog in the region, www.arabist.net.