How many SCAF generals does it take to screw on a lightbulb?

(This post is motivated by today's performance by General Adel Emara, in the press conference today in which he explained that the military did not shoot or run over anyone on October 9, among other things.)

Possible answers:

• The screwing-on of lightbulbs is a sacred national duty that will be carried out with due haste with by appropriate number of generals according to a set but secret timetable.
• The inability to restore the lighbulb to its rightful function is the work of infiltrators and saboteurs!
• A foreign hand has stolen the lightbulb, but its plots will be foiled.
• No foreign agenda can dictate to us what to do with the lightbulb!
• Despite reports and video evidence to the contrary, we assure you that the lightbulb is fully functioning.
• Together, the SCAF and the people will ensure that all lightbulbs everywhere are screwed on with one hand!
• We refuse the lightbulb's resignation and order it to return to its socket immediately!
• How do you know about the lightbulb, spy?

I urge you to contribute your own in the comments.