The Arabist

The Arabist

By Issandr El Amrani and friends.

muesli madness


Authorities are warning this morning of a new threat to the safety of Cairene motorists—angry hippies.

“We think they’re coming from California,� confided Mohamed El Jalaad of the Traffic Safety Division of State Security. “It’s the sandals that tip us off. But do not worry. We will crush them beneath the wheels of our Jeeps.�

While rumors of steadily rising face-mask sales continue to circulate, pedestrians are being advised to take care in crossing the road.

“These angry hippies can be dangerous,� says taxi driver Ahmed al Soua pointing to mark on the side of his cab. While he says he wasn’t really watching, he thinks the mark may have been caused when he sideswiped a Deadhead on a mountain bike.

Meanwhile Shabaan Abdel Rahim has announced that he will be releasing a song next week entitled “Squash the bearded freak under the wheels of your Lada.�